Choosing what to dress your mother in for her funeral is an intimate decision that reflects her personality, beliefs, and how you wish to honor her memory. This guide focuses on the key factors to help you make this important choice thoughtfully and respectfully.
Reflect on Her Personal Style
Start by thinking about how your mother dressed in life and what brought her joy. Consider the following options:
- A favorite outfit: A dress, suit, or casual clothing she loved to wear, especially if it was associated with special memories.
- Signature pieces: If she had a particular style, such as a love for bright colors, floral prints, or elegant black attire, incorporate those elements.
- Everyday comfort: If she cherished simplicity, a beloved sweater, blouse, or casual outfit may feel more authentic.
- Select a garment in her favorite color.
Can I buy a funeral gown?
Yes, some online stores have categories that include “burial gowns”. However shopping at any fashionable outlet that your mother may have approved of could also be a source for a funeral garment. See Amazon’s “burial gowns“.
Honor Cultural and Religious Traditions
Cultural and religious customs often influence funeral attire. Research or consult with a spiritual leader or family members to ensure your choice aligns with these traditions:
- Christian funerals: Traditional attire is often formal and respectful, but some denominations prefer white or light colors.
- Jewish funerals: Modest clothing is preferred, and sometimes a shroud (tachrichim) is used.
- Muslim funerals: Burial in a simple white shroud is common practice.
- Hindu funerals: White is the customary color, symbolizing purity.
Respecting these traditions can provide additional meaning to your mother’s farewell.
Practical Considerations for Funeral Attire
Keep in mind some practical aspects when choosing clothing:
- Fit: Clothes may need adjustments for a proper fit. Many funeral homes offer dressing services and can assist.
- Comfort and Fabric: Soft, natural fabrics like cotton, silk, or wool create a peaceful and natural appearance.
- Condition: Select clean, well-preserved clothing that reflects care and respect.
- Simplicity for Cremation: If cremation is planned, avoid synthetic fabrics, metal zippers, or heavy embellishments, as they may not be allowed.
Discuss any specific requirements with the funeral home or crematorium staff.
Add Meaningful Details
Including personal or sentimental touches can make the outfit even more special:
- Jewelry: A wedding ring, locket, or favorite piece of jewelry can be part of her final attire.
- Accessories: Scarves, brooches, or a signature hat can reflect her personality.
- Tokens: Small mementos, such as a family photo or handwritten note, can be tucked into a pocket or placed beside her.
These additions can create a meaningful connection for family members and guests.
If No Wishes Were Expressed
If your mother didn’t leave specific instructions about her funeral attire, consider these approaches:
- Gather input: Discuss with siblings or close relatives to agree on what feels most fitting.
- Match the ceremony: Align her attire with the tone of the funeral, whether it’s formal, casual, or celebratory.
- Personalize: Choose something that reflects her unique personality, ensuring it honors her memory authentically.
Common Questions Answered
Here are some common questions about attire for the deceased person.
How should I decide if multiple outfits seem appropriate?
Choose the one that best represents her essence or is most connected to her happiest times. If she loved variety, incorporate elements from several outfits, like combining a favorite top with a treasured scarf.
Should my mom wear makeup or have her hair styled?
This is a personal decision. Funeral homes offer cosmetic and hairstyling services, often replicating how the person appeared in life. A natural look is common, but feel free to request anything that feels right.
What if she wanted to wear something unconventional?
If she expressed a preference for something unique, like a costume, vibrant attire, or themed outfit, it’s an opportunity to honor her individuality.
Are there any restrictions for green burials?
Yes, many green burial providers require biodegradable materials. Avoid clothing with synthetic fabrics or non-biodegradable elements.
Can I include keepsakes or mementos?
Yes, items like handwritten notes, small tokens, or religious symbols can often be included. Check with the funeral home for any restrictions.
Should I buy her a new clothing item or use one she already has?
That is really a personal choice. If she has a dress that everyone loves or that evokes a particular memory or simply is symbolic of a time in her life, then choose that. If she doesn’t have a garment that is suitable, then buy a new dress for her.
