FAQ: Most Common Questions About Funerals (with Answers)

Here is a detailed Frequently Asked Questions based on the 50 most common questions about funerals, including examples from the U.S. and Canada where applicable.

Questions Answered

What is a funeral?

A funeral is a ceremony or service held in honor of a deceased person, where family and friends gather to pay their respects and say their goodbyes. Funerals typically include a service, either religious or secular, followed by burial or cremation. The purpose is to provide a structured way to mourn, honor the deceased, and offer support to the bereaved.

What is the difference between a funeral and a memorial service?

A funeral usually takes place with the body of the deceased present, either in an open or closed casket. A memorial service, on the other hand, is held without the body present, often after burial or cremation. Memorial services are more flexible in timing and can occur weeks or even months after death.

Example: In the U.S., many families hold memorial services weeks after cremation, allowing for travel arrangements or gathering of extended family.

How much does a funeral cost?

The average cost of a funeral in the U.S. ranges between $7,000 and $12,000, depending on factors like the funeral home, the services chosen, and whether the body is buried or cremated.

In Canada, funeral costs typically range from CAD 5,000 to CAD 15,000. These costs can include embalming, a casket, burial plot, transportation, and the service itself.

Example: A traditional burial with a viewing in Toronto may cost CAD 10,000, while a direct cremation without a service could cost as little as CAD 2,000.

Who is responsible for planning a funeral?

The next of kin, usually a spouse, parent, child, or sibling, is responsible for planning the funeral. However, if the deceased had a will or pre-arranged funeral plans, the executor of the estate may take on this role.

What happens during a funeral service?

A typical funeral service involves a eulogy, prayers or readings, music, and often a viewing of the body (if desired by the family). Afterward, there may be a procession to a cemetery or crematorium. The service may vary significantly depending on religious or cultural traditions.

What are the different types of funerals?

Traditional Funeral: Includes a viewing or visitation, a formal ceremony, and burial or cremation.
Direct Burial: No service or viewing, just a simple burial.
Cremation: A service may be held before or after cremation.
Green Funeral: Environmentally friendly burial without embalming and with biodegradable materials.

Example: In both the U.S. and Canada, green funerals are growing in popularity for their lower environmental impact.

What is a green or eco-friendly funeral?

A green funeral is an environmentally friendly alternative to traditional burial. It typically involves forgoing embalming, using biodegradable caskets or shrouds, and opting for a natural burial without a vault. Green burials are legal in most parts of the U.S. and Canada, though regulations vary by location.

How long after death is a funeral typically held?

In the U.S., funerals are typically held within one week of death. In Canada, the timeframe is similar, though it may be extended due to cultural or religious customs, or if family members need to travel.

What is a wake, and how is it different from a funeral?

A wake is a gathering of family and friends before the funeral, often with the body present. Traditionally, it’s a time for people to pay their respects to the deceased in a more informal setting. A funeral, in contrast, is a formal service with religious or cultural rituals.

See also: What is a wake?

What is a funeral procession?

A funeral procession is a group of vehicles that travels from the funeral service to the cemetery or crematorium. In many parts of the U.S. and Canada, it’s common for cars to follow the hearse, with headlights on, as a sign of respect.

Can funerals be customized?

Yes, funerals can be highly personalized to reflect the deceased’s personality, values, or wishes. Families may choose specific music, readings, or rituals to honor the individual. In both the U.S. and Canada, celebrants or non-religious officiants often lead personalized services.

What is the purpose of a eulogy?

A eulogy is a speech or tribute given during a funeral to celebrate and remember the life of the deceased. It often includes personal stories, accomplishments, and reflections on the deceased’s impact on others.

What should I wear to a funeral?

Funeral attire is generally conservative and respectful. In the U.S. and Canada, wearing dark colors, such as black, navy, or gray, is common. Some families may request more casual or colorful attire, especially for non-traditional or “Celebration of Life” services.

How do I express condolences to the family?

Condolences can be expressed in person, through a sympathy card, or by sending flowers. It is also common in both the U.S. and Canada to make charitable donations in memory of the deceased, if requested by the family.

What is a funeral director’s role?

A funeral director assists the family in planning and organizing the funeral, ensuring that all legal and logistical details are handled. This includes transporting the body, preparing it for viewing, and arranging the burial or cremation.

What is the difference between burial and cremation?

Burial involves placing the body in a casket and interring it in the ground or in a mausoleum. Cremation involves reducing the body to ashes, which can then be kept in an urn, scattered, or buried. Cremation is generally less expensive than burial and offers more flexibility for memorial services.

How much does cremation cost?

The average cost of cremation in the U.S. is between $1,000 and $3,000, while in Canada, it ranges from CAD 1,500 to CAD 5,000. Direct cremation, which forgoes a service, is the most affordable option.

Learn more:
Cremation Cost in US by State
Cremation Cost in Canada by Province

What are the laws regarding scattering ashes?

In both the U.S. and Canada, the laws regarding scattering ashes vary by location. Ashes can generally be scattered on private property with permission, in national parks with a permit, and at sea, provided it’s at least three nautical miles from shore. Public parks and urban areas often have specific regulations.

Can I have a funeral if I choose cremation?

Yes, many people choose to have a funeral service with the body present before cremation. Alternatively, you can hold a memorial service after cremation with the ashes present.

What is a direct burial?

A direct burial involves burying the body shortly after death without a formal funeral service or viewing. It’s often a less expensive option as it skips the embalming and presentation process.

What is a direct cremation?

Direct cremation is when the body is cremated without a funeral service or viewing beforehand. It’s the most affordable cremation option and is common in both the U.S. and Canada.

Can you be buried on private property?

In the U.S. and Canada, burial on private property is legal in some areas, but zoning laws and local regulations vary. Families interested in this option should consult local authorities. See regulations for Canada by province. See regulations for US by state.

What is the difference between a cemetery and a mausoleum?

A cemetery is an outdoor space where bodies are buried in the ground, while a mausoleum is a building where bodies are entombed in crypts above ground.

What happens to the body after cremation?

After cremation, the body is reduced to bone fragments, which are then ground into a fine ash. The ashes are typically placed in an urn and returned to the family.

How long does the cremation process take?

Cremation typically takes two to three hours, depending on the size of the body and the type of cremation equipment used.

Is embalming required by law?

Embalming is not legally required in the U.S. or Canada, except under certain circumstances, such as if the body is being transported over state or provincial lines or if the funeral is delayed. Read more: Is embaming necessary?

Can you be cremated with your belongings?

Yes, some personal items may be cremated with the body, though certain materials (like metals) may need to be removed. It’s important to check with the funeral home for specific regulations.

What is a columbarium?

A columbarium is a structure with niches designed to hold urns containing cremated remains. Columbariums are often found in cemeteries or churches.

What are burial vaults, and are they required?

A burial vault is a concrete or metal enclosure that surrounds the casket in the grave. It prevents the ground from sinking over time. While not legally required, many cemeteries in the U.S. and Canada require vaults to maintain the appearance of the cemetery.

What are the different religious funeral traditions?

Religious funeral practices vary widely:

Christian: Often involves a service with prayers, hymns, and a eulogy, followed by burial or cremation.
Jewish: Typically includes a burial within 24 hours of death, with a shiva (mourning period) afterward.
Muslim: Requires burial, usually within 24 hours, without embalming or a casket.

How do Jewish funerals differ from Christian funerals?

Jewish funerals typically take place within 24 hours of death, and the body is not embalmed or cremated. The deceased is buried in a simple shroud and casket. A key element is the recitation of the Kaddish, a prayer for the dead. After the burial, the family sits “Shiva,” a mourning period of up to seven days.

In contrast, Christian funerals may occur several days after death, and the body may be embalmed or cremated. The funeral often includes a religious service with prayers, hymns, and a eulogy, followed by burial or cremation.

What happens at a Catholic funeral?

A Catholic funeral usually consists of three parts:

The Vigil (Wake): A gathering of family and friends, often with prayers and a viewing of the body.
Funeral Mass: A church service that includes the Eucharist (Communion) and prayers for the soul of the deceased.
Committal: A graveside service where the body is buried. Catholics typically prefer burial, although cremation is allowed, provided the ashes are buried or entombed.

Read. more: What to expect at a Catholic funeral

What is a Muslim funeral like?

Muslim funerals follow specific rituals, including:

Washing the Body: The body is washed and wrapped in a simple white shroud.
Prayer (Janazah): A communal prayer is offered for the deceased.
Burial: The body is buried as soon as possible, usually within 24 hours, facing Mecca. Cremation is not permitted in Islam.

Can funerals be held in non-religious settings?

Yes, non-religious or secular funerals can be held in various locations, such as funeral homes, private homes, parks, or other meaningful venues. Celebrants or officiants can lead the service, focusing on the life and legacy of the deceased rather than religious rituals.

What is a Celebration of Life, and how is it different from a funeral?

A Celebration of Life is a more informal gathering that focuses on celebrating the deceased’s life rather than mourning their death. These events are often more personalized, with upbeat music, shared memories, and sometimes creative activities like releasing balloons or planting trees in memory of the deceased.

Example: In the U.S. and Canada, Celebrations of Life have become popular, especially after cremation, allowing for a more flexible timeline for friends and family to gather.

What is a Funeral Procession?

A funeral procession is a solemn, organized journey where the deceased is transported from the funeral service to the burial or cremation site. It often includes a hearse followed by vehicles carrying family and friends. For more information and to better understand funeral procession etiquette, click here.

What are some traditional funeral customs in other cultures?

Hindu Funerals (India and U.S./Canada diaspora): The body is cremated, and the ashes are often scattered in a sacred river. There is a 13-day mourning period after the funeral.
Chinese Funerals: In some Chinese traditions, the funeral includes offerings of food and money to honor ancestors. The body is usually buried, and the color white is worn by mourners.
Māori Funerals (New Zealand): Known as “Tangihanga,” these funerals involve several days of mourning on a marae (communal area), with speeches, prayers, and communal meals.

What do different flowers symbolize at funerals?

In many cultures, flowers at funerals carry specific meanings:

Lilies: Represent restored innocence.
Roses: Red roses symbolize love and respect, while white roses signify purity and reverence.
Carnations: White carnations represent purity and innocence; pink carnations are a symbol of remembrance.
Chrysanthemums: In many countries, including the U.S. and Canada, chrysanthemums represent death and are commonly used at funerals.

What paperwork is needed after a death?

Key documents needed after a death include:

Death Certificate: Required for legal purposes, such as settling estates or closing accounts.
Burial Permit: Needed for burial or cremation.
Will or Estate Documents: These dictate how the deceased’s property will be distributed.
Social Security Notification (U.S.): The Social Security Administration must be informed of the death to stop benefits or begin survivor benefits.
In Canada, the equivalent would be notifying Service Canada and any relevant provincial authorities.

What is a death certificate, and how do I get one?

A death certificate is an official document issued by the government, confirming the cause, date, and place of death. It’s required for handling legal affairs such as closing accounts, claiming life insurance, or settling estates. You can obtain a death certificate through the funeral home or directly from the local registrar’s office.

Can a person pre-plan their own funeral?

Yes, many people choose to pre-plan their funerals to ensure that their wishes are followed and to ease the burden on their family. Pre-planning can include selecting the type of service, choosing burial or cremation, and paying for arrangements in advance.

How do funeral pre-planning arrangements work?

Funeral pre-planning typically involves meeting with a funeral director to discuss your wishes. You can choose everything from the type of service to specific details like music, flowers, and casket or urn selection. In both the U.S. and Canada, some people prepay for their funerals to lock in current prices and avoid burdening their families financially.

Are there any government benefits for funerals?

U.S.: The Social Security Administration provides a one-time death benefit of $255 to a surviving spouse or dependent children.
Canada: The Canada Pension Plan (CPP) offers a Death Benefit, which is a one-time payment of up to CAD 2,500 to the estate of the deceased.

Can children attend funerals?

Yes, children can attend funerals, but it’s essential to consider their age and emotional maturity. Preparing them beforehand by explaining what will happen can help ease any anxiety. Some families prefer to have children attend only certain parts of the service.

How should I act at a funeral?

It’s important to behave respectfully at a funeral. This means dressing appropriately, arriving on time, offering condolences to the family, and participating in the service quietly. If unsure of specific customs, observing others’ behavior can guide you.

Is it appropriate to take pictures or record during a funeral?

Taking photos or recording video during a funeral is generally not appropriate unless the family has explicitly permitted it. Some families in the U.S. and Canada may hire a professional photographer or videographer to document the service, especially if loved ones cannot attend in person.

What is the appropriate way to send flowers or donations?

Sending flowers to the funeral home or the family’s home is a common way to show sympathy. However, many families now request donations to a specific charity in lieu of flowers. It’s important to check the obituary or family’s wishes before deciding.

What should I do if I can’t attend a funeral?

If you can’t attend the funeral, sending a sympathy card, flowers, or a donation in the deceased’s memory is an appropriate gesture. Many families appreciate phone calls or visits after the service as well.

While funerals are solemn occasions, sharing funny stories or moments of levity is often welcomed, especially if the family has indicated that they want the service to be a celebration of the deceased’s life. It’s important to be sensitive to the mood and family’s preferences.

Should I attend both the funeral and the burial?

If you are close to the family or the deceased, attending both the funeral service and the burial is a respectful gesture. However, some people attend only the funeral if the burial is a private family event.

Can I attend a funeral virtually?

Yes, many funeral homes now offer virtual attendance options through live streaming, especially since the COVID-19 pandemic. This allows family and friends who cannot travel to participate remotely. Virtual attendance has become more common in both the U.S. and Canada.