Delivering a eulogy is a deeply emotional and meaningful task. It’s an opportunity to honor your loved one, share memories, and celebrate the unique qualities that made them special. Including humor in a eulogy, when done thoughtfully, can bring a sense of lightness to a somber moment and remind everyone of the joy the deceased brought to their lives. Here’s how to tastefully add humor while keeping the tone respectful and heartfelt.
Importance of Subjectivity in Humor
Humor is highly subjective—what makes one person laugh might make another uncomfortable. Always keep your audience in mind, including close family members and others who may have different perspectives. The best humor is lighthearted, inclusive, and reflects the deceased’s personality. When in doubt, focus on stories or jokes that everyone can relate to and appreciate.
Reflect Their Sense of Humor
The easiest way to add humor to a eulogy is by drawing from the deceased’s own sense of humor. Were they known for telling jokes, playful banter, or funny stories? Share examples of their humor in a way that feels natural and authentic to who they were.
Example:
“Dad always said he had the world’s best alarm clock: Mom’s coffee grinder. Every morning at 6 a.m., without fail, the house smelled like coffee—and Dad would be up before the toast even popped.”
Choose Lighthearted Stories
Sharing funny anecdotes is a great way to illustrate the deceased’s personality and bring a smile to everyone’s face. Pick stories that highlight their quirks, habits, or interactions with others in a way that celebrates their character.
Examples:
- “Grandma had her own version of cooking. Her recipes always started with ‘a little of this and a pinch of that,’ and we could never replicate them. We’re pretty sure she left out an ingredient on purpose just to keep us guessing.”
- “Uncle Jerry loved his lawn more than anything. One time, he yelled at a squirrel for messing up his perfect stripes. I’m pretty sure that squirrel is still holding a grudge.”
- “Mom always said she could do anything with duct tape, and she wasn’t kidding. If something broke in the house, she’d duct tape it, declare it fixed, and move on. We called it ‘Mom’s lifetime warranty.’”
Balance Humor with Emotion
A great eulogy takes the audience on an emotional journey, blending moments of laughter with heartfelt reflections. Use humor to lighten the mood and solemn moments to honor the depth of the loss. This balance creates a meaningful and memorable tribute.
Example:
“Grandpa always joked that he had nine lives, but the truth is, he made the most of the one he had. Whether he was teaching us how to fish or telling stories around the fire, he showed us how to live fully and love deeply.”
Funniest Eulogy
If you want to see a pro eulogizing a friend using humor and poignant moments then watch funnyman John Cleese mixing humor with heartfelt emotion in a eulogy he gave for Graham Chapman.
Weaving Funny with Solemn Moments
Humor and solemnity don’t have to be separate—they can work together to create a richer, more impactful eulogy. Life itself is a mix of joy and sorrow, and reflecting this in your speech makes it feel more authentic.
- Start with Humor to Break the Tension: A funny anecdote at the beginning can help ease the room and set a comforting tone.
Example:
“If you ever met Jane, you know she never met a dog she didn’t like—or didn’t try to adopt. Her house was always full of wagging tails and happy barks, and she wouldn’t have had it any other way.” - Transition to Solemn Reflection: After a lighthearted moment, guide the audience into deeper, more emotional territory to reflect on their life and legacy.
Example:
“But Jane’s love didn’t stop at animals. She had a way of making everyone feel seen and valued, whether you were a friend, a neighbor, or just someone passing by.” - End with an Uplifting Note: Conclude your speech with a mix of humor and warmth, leaving the audience with a sense of closure and gratitude.
Example:
“Jane always said she wanted her life to be a love story, and it was. She loved fiercely, laughed loudly, and left us with memories that will make us smile for years to come.”
Keep Humor Inclusive
Avoid jokes or stories that only a small portion of the audience will understand. The humor should feel universal and relatable, bringing people together rather than leaving anyone out.
Example:
“Every Thanksgiving, Dad insisted on carving the turkey—even though he was terrible at it. It became a running joke in the family that he was secretly creating ‘abstract art.’ Now, Thanksgiving just won’t be the same without his ‘masterpieces.’”
What Is Not Funny and Should Be Avoided
While humor can bring light to a somber occasion, it’s essential to be mindful of what could be perceived as inappropriate. Here are some examples of humor that should be avoided:
- Insensitive Jokes About the Cause of Death:
“Well, Joe always joked about ‘working himself to death,’ and I guess he wasn’t kidding.”
This type of remark can feel callous and diminish the gravity of the loss. - Mocking Their Habits or Personality:
“We all know Aunt Linda couldn’t cook to save her life. I think the smoke detector cried every time she turned on the stove.”
While it might seem funny, this could upset those who admired her. - Private Inside Jokes:
“Only a few of us know why we called him ‘Captain Slippers.’ Let’s just say it involved a rubber duck and leave it at that.”
This leaves most of the audience confused or uncomfortable. - Exaggerating Negatively:
“Bob was so cheap he probably asked St. Peter for a discount at the Pearly Gates.”
While intended as humor, it may come across as disrespectful. - Overly Sarcastic Remarks:
“Well, she finally made it on time for something—her own funeral!”
This kind of humor can feel insensitive, even if meant playfully.
End on a Warm and Uplifting Note
A eulogy should ultimately leave the audience with a sense of peace and gratitude. End with a story or sentiment that captures the spirit of the deceased and highlights the joy they brought to others.
Example:
“Grandpa always said life was like a good joke—you don’t want it to end, but when it does, you hope it leaves people laughing. And I think he’d be happy knowing he left us with plenty of laughter and love to carry us forward.”
By weaving humor and solemnity together, you create a heartfelt tribute that celebrates the fullness of life. Tasteful humor can comfort those who are grieving, remind everyone of the good times, and honor the memory of your loved one in a truly memorable way.
See also: Writing a Eulogy FAQ
