How to Write an Obituary

Includes obituary examples for a mother and a father

Writing an obituary is a meaningful way to honor a loved one’s life and inform others of their passing. It serves as both a tribute and a notification of funeral or memorial service details. This guide provides step-by-step instructions to help you craft a heartfelt and effective obituary.

Included are obituary examples for a mother and a father.

In This Article

Understand the Purpose of an Obituary

Before you begin, it’s helpful to know what an obituary typically includes. Obituaries generally serve these purposes:

Announce the death of a loved one.
Provide details about their life and legacy.
Share information about funeral or memorial services.
Offer a way for others to express condolences or contribute to causes important to the deceased.

Start with Basic Information

Begin with the essential facts. This opening paragraph should include:

The full name of the deceased (including nicknames, if appropriate).
Their age at the time of death.
The date and location of death.
Optional: a brief mention of the cause of death (if the family wishes to share).

Example:

Jane Marie Thompson, 78, of Seattle, Washington, passed away peacefully on January 10, 2025, surrounded by her family.

Write a Summary of Their Life

This section celebrates the individual’s life and accomplishments. Include details such as:

Birthdate and birthplace.
Education and career highlights.
Hobbies, passions, or interests.
Volunteer work or contributions to the community.
Notable achievements or life events.

Example:

Jane was born on March 14, 1946, in Portland, Oregon. She earned a degree in education from the University of Oregon and spent 35 years as a beloved elementary school teacher. Jane was an avid gardener, a talented painter, and a dedicated volunteer at her local food bank.

Acknowledge Family and Loved Ones

List surviving family members and those who predeceased them. Commonly mentioned relatives include:

Spouse or partner.
Children and their spouses.
Grandchildren and great-grandchildren.
Siblings.
Parents (if appropriate).

Example:

Jane is survived by her husband of 55 years, Robert; her daughters, Emily (James) and Sarah (Michael); her grandchildren, Olivia, Ethan, and Grace; and her sister, Margaret. She was preceded in death by her parents, George and Mary.

Provide Funeral or Memorial Service Details

Include the date, time, and location of any planned services. Mention if the event is private or open to the public. If services will be held later, you can state that details will be announced.

Example:

A celebration of Jane’s life will be held on January 20, 2025, at 2:00 PM at the First United Methodist Church in Seattle. All are welcome.

Suggest Ways to Honor Their Memory

Many families include suggestions for memorial contributions or acts of remembrance. Common options include:

Charitable donations to an organization meaningful to the deceased.
Bringing flowers or sending cards.
Participating in an activity the deceased enjoyed.

Example:

In lieu of flowers, the family requests donations to the Seattle Food Bank, where Jane volunteered for many years.

Optional: Add a Personal Touch

Consider ending the obituary with a personal note, a favorite quote, or a sentiment that captures their spirit.

Example:

Jane’s warmth, kindness, and gentle humor will be deeply missed by all who knew her.

Proofread and Review

Before submitting the obituary, review it carefully for errors. Check:

Spelling and grammar.
Accuracy of dates and names.
Compliance with publication guidelines if submitting to a newspaper or online platform.

Obituary Examples

Here are three obituary examples:

Obituary Example for Mother

Mary Ellen Johnson, 82, of Chicago, Illinois, passed away peacefully on January 14, 2025, surrounded by her loving family.
Mary was born on July 22, 1942, in Springfield, Illinois. She graduated from Northwestern University with a degree in literature and spent over 40 years as an accomplished librarian, inspiring countless readers with her passion for books. Mary was a talented baker, a dedicated gardener, and a compassionate volunteer at her local animal shelter.
She is survived by her children, Laura (Daniel), Mark (Samantha), and Rachel (Thomas); her grandchildren, Claire, Jacob, Olivia, and Nathan; and her sister, Susan Miller. Mary was preceded in death by her husband, Robert Johnson, and her parents, Edward and Eleanor Harris.
A memorial service will be held on January 22, 2025, at 11:00 AM at Grace Community Church in Chicago. In lieu of flowers, the family requests donations to the Chicago Public Library Foundation in Mary’s honor.
Mary’s unwavering kindness, infectious laughter, and love for storytelling will be deeply missed by all who knew her.

Obituary Example for Father

David Charles Miller, 85, of Denver, Colorado, passed away on January 15, 2025, with his family by his side.
David was born on October 8, 1939, in Boulder, Colorado. A lifelong learner and adventurer, he graduated with a degree in engineering from Colorado State University. David dedicated over 50 years to his career as a civil engineer, playing a key role in building many of Colorado’s highways and bridges. He was an enthusiastic hiker, a skilled woodworker, and a proud supporter of local conservation efforts.
He is survived by his wife of 60 years, Carol; his children, Michael (Linda), Sarah (John), and Matthew (Emily); and his grandchildren, Samuel, Lily, Grace, and Benjamin. David was preceded in death by his parents, Charles and Helen Miller, and his brother, Robert.
A memorial service will be held on January 25, 2025, at 3:00 PM at the First Presbyterian Church in Denver. The family asks that in lieu of flowers, donations be made to the Colorado Trail Foundation in David’s memory.
David’s wisdom, generosity, and love for the outdoors will live on in the hearts of those who knew him.

Frequently Asked Questions About Obituary Writing

Here are common questions about writing an obituary and their answers.

What if I’m not comfortable writing?

You can ask a family member, friend, or professional writer to assist you. Many funeral homes also offer obituary-writing services.
You can also use this obituary writing tool.

How long should an obituary be?

Most obituaries range from 200 to 500 words. Newspapers may charge by the word, so check their pricing structure if you’re submitting it for publication.

Can I include humorous stories?

Yes, as long as the humor is appropriate and reflects the personality of the deceased. A lighthearted anecdote can make the obituary more personal and memorable.

This is optional. If the deceased had an active online presence and the family feels it’s appropriate, you can include links to memorial pages or social media profiles.

What should I avoid in the obituary?

Avoid including overly personal details, such as specific addresses, to maintain privacy. Also, ensure that any information shared aligns with the family’s wishes.

Do I need permission from family members to include their names?

Yes, it’s best to confirm with family members before including their names, especially if the obituary will be published online or in a newspaper.

Can I include photos?

Many newspapers and online platforms allow you to include a photo of the deceased. Choose a clear, high-quality image that reflects their personality or a memorable time in their life.

What should I do if I make a mistake after submission?

Contact the publication or platform as soon as possible. Corrections can often be made quickly, though there may be additional costs for print obituaries.

Can I write an obituary before someone passes away?

Yes, pre-writing an obituary can relieve stress during an emotional time. Ensure that it is updated and accurate before publication.

What is the difference between an obituary and a death notice?

A death notice is a brief announcement of someone’s passing, often including only basic details. An obituary is more detailed and serves as a tribute to the person’s life.

Yes, social media is a common place to share obituaries. Make sure to respect family preferences and consider using a private group or memorial page for close friends and relatives.